Metal Gear Solid: The Power of Friendship
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: How do you truly take down someone who shares every bit of you that there is? Can you really still call him "brother"? Is it wrong to go against family if it's for the greater good? Time for Snake to make his choice... and fast.


"Well, Suirmy Wormy! This is a fine pickle!" shouted Snake atop the base's tower. He looked down and saw his mean old bro Liquid flying around in his dumb old helicopter making faces at the baby wolves. "Ain't there any justice in this world?"

Just then, Snake got an urgent transmission from a person! Who could it be?

"This is Snake…" Snake said gruffly with his impressive rasp and David Hayter-ness.

"Sup, puddin', it's-a me, da Master!" said the caller.

"Master! What are you calling to tell me?"

"A life lesson, Snake! Don't pursue Liquid any further!"

"Why not?"

"He's got an armored chopper, duh! You really think you can handle that?"

"Yupperoony, bruh. I've got a load of guns and C4 stuffed in my back pocket. I'll crush that silly bad person!"

"Didn't you put all your weapons in the downstairs locker because you thought they were too heavy?"

"Oh yeah…"

"See?"

"But I can still fight him!" He them jumped off the roof and landed on top of one of the helicopter's propellers. He spun around and screamed like a maniac for several minutes before he was able to make it inside the chopper and confront his nemesis. "I found you faker!"

Surprisingly, Liquid was not in the chopper, but instead it was Master. "How nice to see you so soon, Snake!" he said Britishly.

"Holy Ravioli! Master, what are you doing in here? And why is you British!"

Snake suddenly got a call from Colonel Roy Campbell. "Oh butts, Snake!" he cried. Snake, that man who stands before you is not who you think it is!"

"He isn't my Master?"

"No, Master was found dead in a chicken coop trying to salvage some delicious Post Fruity Pebbles Cereal(TM), part of a good breakfast!"

"AUAAUUAGHHHGGH!" grunted Snake's impressive rasp. How could he have been so foolish. "You are not Master, are you?"

"I suppose the jig is up, eh, brother?" said the fake Master as he removed his sunglasses and flung his long, luxurious, gorgeous, blonde hair back. "It's-a me!"

"It's-a you!" Snake pulled out a gun and he said with a cry: "'Ey, Liquid, you poser, Yousa gonna die!" Snake shot a lot of guns out of the gun at the imposter who was actually his own brother. Tears streamed down Snake's face in manly charisma because he wanted to make sure he had his hidden sensitive side on full display. "Now Meryl will think I'm hunky and full of the salsa!" He screamed into the gun like a microphone and continue to pelt the chopper's interior with the guns.

"Uh-oh!" said Liquid as he dodged expertly. "I am getting so sweaty even though I'm in Alaska!" He ripped his shirt off and flexed his good side at Snake."

"Holy Skechers!" cried Snake as he dropped his weapon in reaction to the big reveal. "My bro is incredibly good-looking! GOOD EVENING!" Snake fell to the floor defeated and cries out about how powerful the shirtlessness is.

"Snake, use your Super Powers!" called out the Colonel.

"I can't use those unless my Master grants me the privilege! And he's dead now! What do I do now, Colonel?"

Otacon got on the line and started talking to Snake. "Pull it together, Snake! Use the power of friendship and anything is possible!"

"Otacon is right, Snake! Use the power of poisitivity!" said the Colonel.

"My friends…" said Snake, eyes wide and feeling the strength of everything overcome him from every direction. "I can feel it…" He stood up to face his brother. "LIQUID!"

"Ooh! Hiya, bigshot!" Liquid taunted with his muscles. "You ready to get whupped by the recessive twin?"

"I am the walrus! AND MY DAD IS THE EGGMAN!" Snake roared and pointed finger guns at Liquid. "Bang!" As he shouted this, real bullets of pure energy shot forth from the tips and slammed into Liquid.

Liquid cried out in horror as he was struck by the pellet. The impact sent him flying into the wall and he could feel his prettiness aura begin to fade. "My. My…" he said slightly angrily. He got back up and resumed flaring up his hunky radiance. "Have at you, Snake!"

"LIQUID!" roared Snake again as he blasted another energy bullet at his brother. "You're through!"

"He's doing it! He's believing in friendship!" commented Otacon happily. He clapped his hands together in excitement and then pulled out his cell to take a quick selfie. Legends say this selfie was sent to Hideo Kojima and it later inspired him to create Death Stranding.

"I won't let up! I am the ultimate lifeform!" cried out Liquid.

"But what use is an ultimate lifeform, when he doesn't have any friends?" Snake said heroically as he readied the final blast. "All right, friends… give me all your energy for this last one. It's gonna be a doozy…"

"Hot stuff, Snake!" cheered the Colonel. He saluted with so much soldier pride.

"Here goes! FRIENDSHIP TYPHOON!" Snake then blasted a huge torrent of glorious love and kindness at Liquid. Liquid was struck by the amazing might and it froze his hair into a golden glacier.

"No! My voluptuous locks! What have you done, you fiend!?" cried Liquid.

"I'm savin' da world!" Snake then blasted one more burst at Liquid and the force was strong enough to bust a hole in the side of the chopper and send Liquid flying into the mountains afar.

"You cretin! I'll have my revenge in the next game, just you wait!"

"Yeah, that'll be the day, jerk!" Snake then pulled out his can of lollipops. He then turned to the camera. "Remember kids, don't be a sucker! Stay in school, do your homework, and don't forget to wash behind your ears when your mom tells you too!"

Snake continued to ride the dismembered aircraft of into the sunset with a big smile brimming on his face while Smash Mouth played him out. The credits rolled and the screen faded to black. The guy in front of the television set who was watching everything picked up his remote and flipped the TV off. He then leaned forward with his head in his hands and groaned loudly.

Otacon hopped into the room. "Hey, Snake! How did our fantabulous movie come out?"

"Shut up, Otacon unless you want to wear Rex's railgun as a necktie again!" growled Snake. He angrily chucked the remote through the wall and exited the room still grumbling.

Otacon blinked twice before he turned back to follow after Snake. "So it _was_ spectacular, yes?"


End file.
